DQ's Misc Ideas
by Deepquote
Summary: My own personal list of various demented plot bunnies.
1. Chapter 1

"A Drunken Horse."

By DeepQuote

Disclaimer: Company and Ranma belong to Takahashi-sensei, and I do not own them. hiccup

I'm.... I'm....not as think as you drunk I am....

Author's Note: Key point!!! This story is tale of a divergence, It takes place during Gosunkugi's search for Ranma's weakness. It ain't cats!!!!

"GYAAAAAHH!"

Furikan Gym

"eh?"

"That...That...was Ranma!"

With this realization, Tatewaki Kuno ran as fast as he could towards the sound of the blood-curdling scream. What he found, however was not at all what he expected. Several warehouse workers, were sprawled unconscious around a nondescript delivery truck. Several of the workers, were mumbling incoherently.

"What the hell was that?"

"Somebody get the number of the alcoholic that just hit us?"

"Ugh." Cries of pain, were the most prevalent among the sounds uttered by the downed workers. Curious to see what the assailant was after, Kuno looked into the back of the truck. Inside, several smashed cases of small ceramic bottles littered the inside of the truck. The smell of sake was unmistakably in the air.

*Saotome is a martial artist, this wouldn't be his work. I must look into the wells of wisdom for that foul sorcerer's weak spot.*

Later at the Tendo Dojo.......

"Has anyone seen Ranma?"

"No, but I think he is in his room, I heard him snoring a while ago."

Later than evening....

"Heyyyyyy.. Kuno...I got a new techn...Tech..hiccup Technique I wannna show ya!...

The Tendo Nabiki Ten Yen Fist! "

Reaching into his pockets, Ranma removes 2 ten-yen pieces ,and sticks them to his knuckles.

He stands feet apart, then slowly raised one leg, till his right ankle rests upon his left knee. Each arm is raised crookedly, seeming to mock the crane stance. Ranma begins hopping around on his one foot, shouting...

"Come on Kuno... I am I scarring.. you? hiccup!?"

END

Children of the Night, Child of Day.

By DeepQuote

Disclaimer: Ranma and Co, Dracula and friends don't belong to me. This story was inspired by old horror movies, too many vampire books, including the masterpiece by Bram Stroker.

Chapter 1

"Vampire."

"Women are my weakness, or to be more accurate, I should say they are my greatest weakness, for I have many." - Michael Romkey "I, Vampire"

January, 23 1995

To: R. Takahashi

From: S. Silverbreeze

Subject: New Addition to Illuminati Archives

The enclosed diary was recently collected for the Illuminati Archives

It is my opinion that you will find the story of this initiate most interesting. I have reviewed it myself this weekend, and I found myself pleasantly surprised. However, I was struck by the similarity to the Sun Tzu document.

This contemporary account of the education of a vampire under our current systems clearly illustrates why I think our current system demands too much of the initiate. I realize you with your theories on the chaotic natures of vampirism, will disagree.

Please have your staff cross index the information in the computer system before filing, and flagging the journal to Ranma Saotome's personal file. I expect will continue to update his files in the near future.

Tokyo, Japan June 2, 1990

Girls are kinda a weakness of mine, well I should say they are one of my weaknesses. I got a couple. It's funny, not 3 months ago, I never would had admitted it. I was always the great Ranma Saotome, and nothing could beat me. Well, I learned... I learned the hard way. Ya see, I used to live in Nerima, Japan. I was just Ranma then....I was a boy... a boy trying to be a man. Now I am no longer either. I am not a man, I am not a boy... I am a vampire.

It's been a while, since my life completely changed. Now that I think on it, So much has happened in so little time. I remember back when things were simpler. I had three fiancées chasing me, along with three psychopaths out for my blood. The days were filled with strange challenges, and even strange foes, but beyond all of the craziness, I still had my innocence, I still was a human being.

Tokyo, Japan 2001

A cool breeze swept gently through the streets of Tokyo, tonight was rather quiet as far as nights go in Tokyo. Only a handful of accidents and no major police incidents were reported on the local news. All in all, the capital of Japan seemed in for a somewhat peaceful night. The moon was crystal clear as it shone in the night sky, the only clouds present seem to lightly accident the dark sky with occasional spots of lighter gray.

Tokyo General Emergency rooms was also quiet that night, only a handful of patients had entered the ER through the Automatic doors on this night. An elderly woman had her hip give out on her, a young woman fell of her bike, and a young student had a little too much to drink after passing his exams. The resident ER Physician that night was Ranma Saotome. Dr. Saotome had gone through his handful of patients with a practiced ease not often seen of just graduated Med. School students. The hospital staff were quite impressed with the confident med. student. This is not to mention, several of the nurse were quite enamored with the handsome young doctor.

From the sky, to the road, to the ER peace seemed to be the operative word for this particular night. However, all of that was about to change. Across town, four men silently entered a downtown warehouse, armed to the teeth with automatic weapons, and the latest in stealth gear, they made their way to their goal. However, as soon as they were in arms reach all hell broke loose.

"Freeze! Police! Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up!"

Normally these words would give hesitation to even the most hardened criminal, but there men were anything but ordinary. Spreading out in a V shaped formation, and using short time bursts of automatic weapons fire, the Tokyo police department was hit hard as they were

unprepared for these militant tactics preformed by men with a cool head, and seemingly no fear.

While still in the V formation, the black clad men entrenched themselves within the

natural cover of the warehouse, committed to continuing the firefight they had started. themselves to. Lobbing military grade stun grenades the men slowly worked their way closer and

closer to the police barricade. Intent of hitting them right in the center and punching their way out of the warehouse.

While this vicious and brave strategy seemed to be work, the unknown variable was the brown clad female figure approaching silently from the rear. Unknown to terrorists their own tactic was about to used against them.

"Drop em you jackasses!" With those words one small throwing knife sunk deep into the crates next to the startled gunman.

Standing there clad in brown skintight body armor was one Lt. Ukyou Kuonji of the Tokyo special crimes unit. Beside and behind her were the 6 other members of her squad.

"Your choice boys! The hard way." Her eyes drifted to the automatic pistol in her right hand.

"The easy way."

Once again her eyes drifted, but this time to a pair of handcuffs in her left hand.

The three men closest to her took one look in the lieutenant's eyes and wisely dropped their guns. The one farthest decided he would rather die than be caught as he took aim at the young lieutenant. The shot rang out amongst the now silent warehouse, dodging to one side, the bullet merely grazed Ukyou as she cart wheeled to the side, her pistol roaring as the bullets raced from it.

Unlike the lucky gunman, Ukyou aims was precise and deadly, the thug ended up taking three bullets one to his kneecap and one to his shoulder and the third to his thigh. His howl of agony mad officers and thugs alike flinch. Standing, but slightly shaken Ukyou barked her orders. Get these assholes out a my sight, and get this idiot to a hospital. Soon two paramedic were in the process of packaging the unfortunate criminal.

A slightly smaller member of Ukyou's squad approached her. " Ukyou-san, He got you, not bad, but good enough. You need to go to a hospital. Turning back to look at the young officer who had spoken, Her eyes met with a decision of steel. She knew that she was not going to argue out of this one. "Alright, Kenzan. I'll go."

With that Ukyou herself was loaded into a second ambulance and taken to Tokyo General

Emergency Room.

"Tokyo General. Medic 4"

"Medic 4, go ahead."

"Be advised, We are currently en-route to your facility ETA 10 minutes. 25 year old male, Patient has 3 gunshot wounds. 1 to the lower extremities and 1 to the shoulder, and 1 to the thigh. over."

"Patients vitals BP 120 over 70 pulse is at 77, and respirations are at 10." Bleeding seems to

be controlled at this point."

Ranma Saotome, Martial Artist Extraordinaire, Doctor, and sometime hero stood

gaping at the medical chart in front of him. Gunshot wound to the left arm. Appears to be not penetrating trauma, Bullet grazed patients arm. This was nothing new to Ranma, it was the patient's name and occupation, which struck cold fear into the young doctor's heart. Patient name: Ukyou Kuonji.

The other physicians were all busy or currently catching up on some shut eye. There was nothing he could do, but confront the inevitable. Taking one nervous tug at his pigtailed, he stepped into the examination room. "Mrs. Kuonji, How are you feeling?"

Shock, and total disbelief would have been inadequate to describe the incredulous look

on the young officers face as she recognized her childhood friend behind the white doctor's

coat, and glasses.

"Ranchan????"

She promptly fainted.

Allowing himself a small grin, Ranma stepped forward to assure, it was his appearance that caused her to faint and not something else. Stepping into a familiar routine, almost help Ranma forget that beneath that oh so tight body armor was his childhood friend.

Idly Ranma thought, *if it weren't for my training, that armor would probably have given me a nosebleed!*

A few minutes later, Ukyou slowly regained consciousness.

**************Unknown Region of China***************

~Aiyah!~

Xian-pu stood in the middle of a small wooded clearing, her Great-Grandmother Khu lon, stood opposite of her. Small cuts bled allow over Xian pu's bare arms a legs, he clothes were not in any better shape.

~You weak fool! Feel your anger...Let your hate come the surface...~

~Spatula girl and Violent girl Weak! I am not weak!!!!!! KIYAH!!!!!!!!!!~

A Ranma What if.....

Timelines have been altered, whole universes combined and the results of such actions have been utterly fantastic. However, it is said that even the smallest amount of force can make a gigantic change. A famous martial artist master once urged, "Be like water my friend." Water can flow, water can crash and water can adapt. Such deep sentiments are often the thoughts of ancient martial arts masters and philosophers. Such men possess a wisdom beyond anything the world has ever seen. Such wisdom often comes at a price, the loss of sight, the pain of a hard life, and even your own life.

Ranma Saotome was forced to live a hard life, one in which his ability to adapt helped him survive. Survival however, is very different from living. Surviving is doing what you have to stay alive, not enjoying everything that is life. In a million universes and a million fanfics Ranma has done more than survived, he has lived. I on the other hand think there is more to life than surviving and living. There is understanding. So my friends I present to you a tiny change. A ripple if you will. Not a change in Ranma, but a change in his mother, Nodoka Saotome.

What if Nodoka Saotome was sent to a Bene Gesserit School to learn to become a woman...


	2. Chapter 2

7/7/02

DeepQuote Presents...

Ranma, The Midnight Detective.

Disclaimer. Ranma and Nightwalker are not mine, I'm just borrowing them to amuse myself and my friends.

Author's Note: Edited to comply with rules.

My name is Ranma Shido. Or at least I think it is. You see, I don't know who I am. I know that, I am a vampire. I am writing this journal is to tell my story, so maybe someone in some other time will be able to understand. My story begins on a moonlit night somewhere in Tokyo, on the last night of my mortal life. The beginning is not clear in my mind for reasons, I will explain later. However I will do my best to describe my birth into the race of the damned.

The pale moon was on the only light in the pitch black sky, and the stars were simply pin holes in the curtain of night. I sat peacefully on a tree branch high above a nondescript park, simple enjoying the view which nature had provided me with. I was not alone that night, she was with me. I am not sure why we were there that night, but she sat beside me silently a smile on her lips. I was mortal then, I know because I can recall the faint beat of my heart, as she cuddled closer to me. I am not really sure how I met her, or even how we ended up in that tree.

What I do know about her doesn't amount to much.

She was beautiful woman, the kind of woman every man dreams about. The pale night only seemed to make her seem even more beautiful. Her blue eyes looking directly at me, as she sat there just silently staring at me. Pale skin and red hair gave her an ethereal quality as she made her move, kissing my neck slowly, as if she was tasting my skin. I don't know how I met her, I don't even know what I was to her. One thing was clear, she was to be my life, my death. You see my beloved was not human, and she would be the one to kill me.

Why? you might ask, or even how did I know? I just knew somehow, because she was there, and she was beside me. And finally because I saw my death in her blue eyes.

It may sound strange but, every woman I've encountered had a desire for the future. You can see written on their face, if you look hard enough. They want kids, they want a husband, or simply they want to be loved. Ranko didn't want any of that, she just wanted me, and damned be the consequences. Blue eyes, pale skin, and flaming red hair may have given her the appearance of a beautiful woman, but even I, her victim knew what she wasn't human. And this inhuman creature wanted one thing, me. You see even those, who walk the night are not immune to lust and desire. For some reason, Ranko wanted me. Why did she chose me? I don't know.

That night, she had said little, only sitting there being content with our contact. She sat beside me there cuddled close silently for most of the night.

"Soon." she purred.

"Soon, my love. We will be together forever."

I sat there immobile as always, but I could feel her muscles tense and clutched feverishly at me. Like a woman drowning her kisses were draining, as if only my embrace could allow her to breathe. My body burns with fire, as my desire for her rises. I am not even sure how to react to this lust, but it doesn't matter. I cannot move. Some part of me screams in frustration, but I don't know what for. A chill races down my spine as I feel my strength growing weaker, and weaker, as if my very life was leaving me. Then I hear it.

"HEY! This is a public park!"

My love stiffens, and I can feel the tension mount. Whoever it is, has come for us. My beloved is enraged, I can feel her power build with her rage. I am growing tired now, my eyelids slowly fall as I see two young girls and an old woman screaming at us, as my beloved runs away from them faster than they can follow.

I don't know how much later it was when I awoke, but upon waking I could feel her unnatural power surrounding us. From my position in her arms I can tell my beloved has chosen the rooftops as her pathway. She is flying through the neighborhood, faster than I can go. And let me tell you that is fast. Deeper and deeper we venture in to the maze called Tokyo, far away from the women that pursue us. Minutes tick by silently before my beloved beliefs we are safe from the women. A dark alley way hidden from the busy streets of Tokyo is our resting place.

No sooner than we stop my beloved senses my consciousness, and she is on me again. Her soft tongue invades my mouth making her desire plain. Her incredible strength holds me against the brick as she begins to have her way with me. It is almost more than I can bare to feel such exquisite pleasure and want nothing to do with it. But, I cannot fight it. My body tingles with her touch, and responds to her caresses. Moans of pleasure escape my lips as she moves on to other places of my body to kiss and caress. Higher and higher I soared in her embrace, growing closer to the feeling I could explode at any moment.

Without warning it stopped, a flash of darkness and pain... such pain. I can feel the warm blood drip down my face, my vision is still blurry. I am flush with anger, and wonder idly if the trio of women has caught up with us. The next sound I hear tears at my heart as my life's blood leaks from my body. I hear my beloved voice crying out... in pleasure. The sound of her voice could only be the sound of ecstasy as she moans with obvious pleasure. It seems my beloved is not mine any more. This is the last though I have before I slip once more into unconsciousness.

Yes, That is the night that I died. That night I became a new person, a new being. As you can no doubt tell I didn't stay dead. That night I became a vampire. I was taken out of the light of life and given me an eternity of darkness. True, I gained immortality, and certain gifts, but I'd rather have my life back. You see, I didn't just lose my life that night, I lost my memory. I don't even know how long ago that terrible night was or How old I am. So Now I wander Japan searching for answers. Searching for myself.

Who I am? Did I have a life? Family, Friends?

What is my name? Was my hair always white?

Why do I wear a pigtail? Why not a ponytail?

Each night I search for the past I have lost, and only gain more questions to answer. But, I have more than enough to time to sort it out. After all, I am immortal. I try to stay busy, so I've gotten myself an office in Downtown Tokyo. Now I'm Ranma Shido, The Midnight Detective. So if anyone ever sees something strange happen, they give me a call. Strange things seem to happen all over Tokyo, and I have developed a knack for dealing with such creatures.

Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies, Tengu, Oni, Etc...

Every culture has names for these things that go bump in the night. They all have one thing in common they exist to kill, and they are all part of the same evil race.. They are Nightbreed. In each beast, the evil manifests itself differently. Some grow horns and blue skin, Some grace the flesh of dead bodies, and other crave the blood of humans. I am a night breed. I don't have the bloodlust of my so called "mother", but I am one of them. Somehow, I have escaped the taint. So I use my powers to make amends. But, I digress back to the story.

Ranko killed me. I correct myself, that night Ranko killed whoever I once was, and took the one thing no one should ever lose their memory. So I search for myself, and for a way to keep mankind safe from beings like me, safe from the night breed.

Something strange has happened, Something that no one can explain.

How do I know?

My phone just rang.

End.

What do you think? Any help is appreciated.

DQ


	3. Chapter 3

Space is an endless expanse of countless stars, and an infinite number of possibilities. It is very much like time in this regard. This is more clearly evident in the Milky Way galaxy, where there is a shining blue planet which the inhabitants have named Earth. It is one of the countless bodies in this galaxy this particular planet is of interest. The interest is simply the infinite number of ways in which the lives of the its inhabitants unfold, and the reasons why their lives unfold in such a way. The people think it is fate, some call it destiny; The truth is the manipulation of Human lives is a game.

A game for gods and other celestial beings who are in desperate need to amuse themselves; One such being is DeepQuote patron of Paramedics and Firefighters. Gazing into Mirmir's well, he sits motionless, his crisp blue uniform shirt reflected in the pool's smooth surface. The solemn figure sits in seiza position before the pool. Blue eyes stare out from behind the black glasses, as he beholds the myriad number of bets which have gone before him. In DQ's left hand is a single sheet of white paper which has nothing on it.

Without fanfare and without any words of magic, The paper falls into the well as DQ rises and walks away.

"What was that?" A strange voice asks from the void.

"Oh not much." DQ replies.

"Only the most powerful Chaos magic I could find."

"WHAT?" the voice cries out. "You turned Ranma Saotome into a sheet of paper???"

"No."

"Oh. What was it then?"

"Murphy's law."

"Oh shit!!"

In the background, laughter is heard coming from a lone figure watching DQ depart.

"Ha hahahaha...hehehehe.... You... You asked for it this time Puck!"

The chamber of the gods echoes with the continued laughter of Silverbreeze as revels in the feeling of the chaos about to be unleashed.

Elsewhere...

Nerima.

By Deepquote

Author's note: This story is intended for entertainment purposes and a place to hide my plans for world domination. The story is my second entry into the second bet. This is to show my support for a contest (Whatever you call it) I believe is a good idea. As for what this timeline is crossed with... FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!!!!

Chapter 1 "And so it begins"

"I can't stand to fly.

I'm not that naïve.

Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees

I'm only a man; In a silly red sheet.

Taken for kryptonite on this one way street

I'm only a man; In a funny red sheet.

I'm only a man looking for a dream.

I'm only a man; In a funny red sheet.

It's not easy...

It's not easy... to be me."

~ "Superman" by Five for Fighting

Darkness, The blackness of space, and the cold illumination of stars several trillion miles away all these things surround the lone space rocket heading away from the doom world of krypton. The golden heat of the rocket's afterburners slowly fades into the distance as It travels farther than an kryptonian has ever dared before. Mere moments after the rockets departure, tragedy strikes as the emerald world of krypton is destroyed in a devastating blast...

Unaware of the great tragedy that has befallen his people the infant

Kal-El sleeps peacefully. The lone survivor of Krypton is an infant. The rocket, in which the young child sits is a masterpiece of kryptonian technology, but like all technology it occasionally malfunction...

Suddenly the ship began to rock, rapidly losing stability, as it computers screeched in alarm.

To the side of the sleep child, the display written in Kryptonian flashed periodically, as the computer fought to fix the problem befalling the shuttle.

DANGER!!!!

DANGER!!!!

Navigation offline...

Attempting to compensate...

Course plotted. New course maintain, destination still within allot parameters. Destination: Earth.

Nerima, Japan. 1988

Nodoka and Genma Saotome walked peacefully through the grassy hills just outside of town. Genma was clumsily attempting to console his poor wife, after her doctor's visit. Recently, it had been determined that they were unable to have any children; Nodoka wasn't taking this well, She wept loudly leaning against the bulk of husband as they sought solace in the peaceful woods.

"No-chan, Don't worry I'm sure we will think of something. Those know it all doctors don't know everything ya know?"

"b....b. But Gen-chan, I want my baby! I want so much to hear a little one call me....m..mother." Nodoka immediately restarted sobbing as the forced the words out of her.

At lost for words, Genma stammered incoherently until...

All hell broke loose.

It started as a high pitched whining sound, as object traveling faster than the speed of sound drew closer and closer to the couple. The smell of smoke entered the air, as arid black smoke filled the sky. The muffled impacts of an explosion sounded off to the right as a ball of fire impacted into the ground. The resulting shockwave knocked the young couple to their backside.

"Oh no! My stash!" Genma's immediate thought was to the rations of food and money he had hidden in the woods away from his wife. Terrified, Nodoka clutched tightly at her husband; her maternal problems forgotten for the moment as she feared for her safety, and the safety of her husband. Little did they both know, the entire world was about to be changed with the birth of a legend...

To be continued?

Next time: "I'm not like everyone else." Pilot! Ranma learns he anything but normal.

Random drivel....

At age 4...

"RANMA! How many times have I told you! Don't throw your father out of through the roof!"

Yes. Momma.

At age 6...

"Ranma, where is your father?"

ummm... Well... Momma... I

"Ranma."

"Mama he tried to throw me to the hungry kitties!"

"I didn't mean to honest!"

45 minutes later Genma lands in china.

At age 12...

"Ranma!"

"No breaking the sound barrier in the living room!!!"

At age 16...

"Who are you young man?"

"Mom, come on! It's me Ranma!"

"No that's not possible, My son's moody and depressed and shoots around the house at barely subsonic speeds, and he doesn't wear tuxedos."

"Very funny mama, you know I have a date tonight."

"I know. Have fun dear."


End file.
